A carer's perspective

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My name is Keymn I am 36 years old. I am a full time carer for mother who suffered a major stroke 14 years ago, whilst I was at university.

Being so young at the time I didn't realise this was going to change my life forever. My mother was a rock who worked long hours as a nurse to support me through my education and hobbies but her stroke made her paralysed and without speech.

I've devoted my life to being my mother's carer whilst raising two young beautiful children with my partner.

The type of support we receive that makes a difference to our lives as a family and mom was the introduction of the Independent Living Fund (ILF). I wouldn't be in this stable position without it. The ILF has enabled mother and me to develop a weekly timetable which gives her choice and control over her life. (Direct Payments work in the same way). You choose what is important to you and when you want to do it. My mother uses this to access the local community, she's able to have a Personal Assistant to take her to church, clothes shopping - yes clothes shopping, she loves clothes, and meals with friends, doctor and hospital appointments and personal care. This has freed up my time which I use to enjoy with my two active young boys. I've been able to access employment opportunities now which has boosted my confidence and made me feel more positive about my life and future.

The relationships I develop with social workers, district nurses, carers and Personal Assistants enables them to be open and honest with me, this helps to get information when I need it so I am prepared for any changes that may come. Some relationships are now friendships and Personal Assistants will just call me and let me know mother's not well so they will take her the doctors instead of expecting me to take her. The flexibility and trust is great. If mother's prescription needs picking up, whoever notices it first will pick it up; I feel we have developed something unique, but it's simple we all want the best for a wonderful lady so we all work as a team.

The pharmacist will rectify any problems with medication so I don't need to run back and forth. It's about developing relationships, once you do that you're close to getting what you need in the way you need it, for us it's become more personalised.

I now work with the local authority in order to help them understand carers' needs and I have co-produced Solihull Carers Strategy. As a carer I can see that Making it Real has been a tool to recognise the importance of Carers and I am pleased to say that Making It Real for Carers is having a major impact in Solihull.

Comments

Posted on by Sally Percival

Thank you for sharing your story with us, it is really thought provoking and helpful. A story that I am sure resonates with so many carers. Your mum is so fortunate to have such a devoted and knowledgeable daughter.

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